Trying to fit in.

我很努力了。我已经很尽力。尽力到很痛苦的地步!

But why can't you see? And at least show me that everything i did was worthwhile.,
Why did my studies become the problem of our friendship! WHY.
I've been putting myself into you three positions, and think. How about you three put yourselves into mine?
I know you all care.When three of you used to take turns to call me
To tell me about homework, to remind me. To teach me, I know i am blessed.
But you know what. Enough.
WHY IS IT THAT OUR MORNING CONVERSATION ALWAYS GOES :
Did you do your homework?.
No.
KRISSTAAAAAL!'

Like wth!. I AM TRYING! I AM TIRED! LAY OFF.
IHATE TO DISAPPOINT ANYBODY. I HATE TO HEAR THAT VOICE OF YOURS JIEPIN.
THAT VOICE THAT TELLS ME YOU ARE SICK OF ME BEING LIKE THIS.
BUT WTH. I AM SICK OF YOU TOO. STOP YOUR SUCK UPS AND STOP SAYING WORDS OF CONCERN I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN. AT TIMES. PLZ

jiepin, i miss those times we talk to each other so naturally.
I miss so many things i do with you, i just realized.
I miss you crapping to me. I miss you wating for bus 155 with me. I miss you caring so much, worrying about my stagefright, and covering and helping me. I miss you singing songs into my ears.I miss evrything..

And huimin, I cried like shitz today when you tell me you are going to give up on me soon not becuase' i am afraid. i am not. I just.. my heart was aching. Just like this? Can't you see my efforts?Why is it that after i try so hard, I get back all this? ! I really woke up at four to study because' i was too tired to study at night!' I really restricted myself from. everything. I strayed from evrything, I play soduko during recess! Don't talk to me so feircely, I will gaurd my heart.
I dont want to gaurd my heart against you. I know among all, You are the one who quietly give and help me. Putting up with everything. And.. So many times i just want to hug you and say thanks.

I TRY SO HARD TO PLEASE YOU ALL. IT SUCKS.
I WANT US TO NEVER CHANGE. BUT NOW ALL YOU THREE EVER DO,
IS TO KEEP TELLING ME YOU ALL ARE DISAPPOINTED IN ME.
YOU ALL WANT TO GIVE UP ON ME. !
I JUST WANT US BACK AGAIN.


还有什么天涯海角！
什么永不变!
Stella you didnt even say anything today.
I thought.. You would be the first to find me.
I thought.. You would come to me, and.. be the sweet ass you always are.
And be there.

Ilovethethreeofyousomuch.
We been through thick and thin.
But now, I don't feel like i am your friend anymore.
I seriously don't want to lose any of you.
You all mean too much. Those advices you are given to me, really make me reflect,
I know i need to change. I know i need to grow up. I know i need to know my piorities.
Like what you all say, if i ever want to be happy, i got to make sacrifices.
I know..

born to stand out.

The same old line : i'm sorry i can't be perfect.


I treasure those who treaures me.
I am good to you, if you are good to me.