yupp,guess al` is in the state of mind.

lord,when will i ever understand?

to be happy, isnt reaally that difficult to feel now ya?

guess its al` about letting go.

settle with the past, engage with the present & believe in the future.



it all starts with a smile ya?[:
hees. i have been stingy with smiles this holiday.
maann, no more.[;
the old kristal is back.
yipeeedude.(!?)

hohoho,.

yupp,nnow about the trip.
went to shanghai,beijing then shanghai then hangzhou then shanghai again.
gaa,[:
been on the train & privare bus & plane.
& while on the way to hangzhou in the bus.
the shifu freakin` knocked down a puupy in the highway.
roars,(!)
then me & xin screamed like shit.
wth lars.
the dog looked freakin` lost.
shifu tried to brake.
but hell no, we were going too fast.
the lil` puppy i guess got hurt.
or maybe even died?
roars(!).
fuck.
i was reaaaally darn worried for that dog._.
prayed 4 times?);
when i turned back, i could see its fur flying everywhere.
Grr.

hangzhou's really a nice place[:
maybe i should go there to unwind when i'm older.
the temperature,secenery,everyth. was superb[:
really was.
like paradise aye.
we took a boat & paddled on mountain water filled with oysters which contained reaal pearls[:
hohoho.
it was nice.[:

there was snow in beijing[:
& first time after so long, i manged to touch snow lars!~
reaallly always wanted to touch snow onee.
then singapore only got snow city-.-
but the snow was hard alrdy leh.
bummer.
but, it was al` cool ya.[:
& i cried the whole 3 nights in beijing cans.
so. i atcually.
reaaaaly think me & beijing just aint mix well.
hees.
then got one time is during the noon then cry./:
cause' about 3 or 4 people pull me back, dont let me go.
then keep asking me buy their shoes./;
roars.
then only left me behind.
felt darn fking lost.
then cannot control, tears come out.(!).

went to forbidden city, greatwall of china & it was freakin` cold.
think lowest is -5degrees eh.
many unhappy stuffs in beijing leh.
like quarreled with dad & so --on.

but nevertheless, though al` these seems like small lil' unpleasant things.
when this tiny things are added up toghter, it reaaly made a great day[:
its these small lil things that make a day spectacular.[:

& now i;m missing china like shit.
those small lil` kids who would hug for money.
those people who would follow us all the way just to be able to sell their things.
reaaly an adventure in china.
unlike singapore, where things are oh-so-peaceful & expected ya?
Super Safe Singapore.

i will remember that 17yearold' xiao hai zi![: sweeet-sweet.x3
hees. & what i did.
what i did seemed like what a drunk me will do..?


i'll remember:
those good massagers[:
those big black bears.
those cute lil` dogs.
the dog we knocked down):
the laughing so hard my abs hurt in the train.
the drinking as penalty.
and supposed to be like 6 people share one bottle.
but i end up drinking half of the bottle./;
lag. laaa me.
heh.
the game reaaaaaly geng wo bu he laars.[:
those 3hrs of higly low ktv.
evrybody i saw there.[:
evrything i did.
forever in my mind.[:
x.ia.o. haaai zix3!
roars.


i really hate how sadness loves my company./:
whres happineesssss?
is hapiness a face that doesnt look good on me?
it sucks how things are.
how no matter how hard i try,
sadness is tattooed to my heart,
from today on, being emo is a crime kristal.
dont commit crime.
i'm just a kid.
stuck in a tennage body.
ya.im just a kid, & life's a nightmare.
the soul within`,.
its not ready to grow up yet.
so, please.
dont make me grow up, feel the cold.
give me endless summer.
i'm not ready, not prepared.
& not willing to.
paps,& mama.
i reaally dont know what to say ya?
really dont.
tmrw is a new day.
things will be diff.
& dear lord,
i pray to be gay.[:

--thoughts in china.?


well,right now. i'm a happy girl[;

ps: links will only be done when i got my new blogskin[:

& xin,just wna saaay![:

you sweeet ass.

thanks for everyth yup?

i'm feeeling muchmuch better now.

ten times better then in beijing.

thanks for pulling me away from those shop owners.

thanks for holding my hand when crossing the road.

thanks for laughing & singinging & being there for mee!`

thanks for understanding how i feel.[:

thanks for putting up with my fucked` up mood swings[:

thanks for running down to the massage centre at 3am with me even though, you, the pig,needed sleep.

thanks for smacking me & aiyo-ing me everytime i get sad.[:

thanks for everything.[:

xoxo.--

surprised aye? didnt know i so sentimental one-.-

roars.

why did i become like that.

well, you better be hounoured xin.

this will be my last time doing this.

hohohoho.!