toxic.toxic.toxic.

hohoho.,

i love. love. love. balloons![:

they make me oh.so happy.

hee.

Pictures taken at vivo,

in the other comp.

sooo, i only got this.

heh.

i look like a freakin` tourist in vivo leh.!

sheeesh.

sooooo, later i'm going to biao shu house.hheh. B.B.Q oh.then New Year also B.bq.

Caught a slight cold.hoho. merry christmas kristal.

Woke up at 2 today.shiokshiok.THEEEEN.i heelp to vacum my bed.hees.notbaddnotbadd.=x

atcually, doing housework qu.itee. fun eh.?ANd i cannot stop sneeeezinglaaaaa!.hoho.

& i can finaally sign in to msn with this new comp![: heh.

i'm the person who wakes up after morning.

i'm the person who gets irratated easily.

i'm the person who slams doors when i;'m angry.

im the person who gets lost & starts crying.

i'm the person whodontgivea.fuck about having a ring on my finger.

i'm the person who wants to rewind back to the past.

i'm the person who wants to erase the past hurts.

i'm also the person who is brave enough to live it all over again.

e.nd. of.me.

i'm worth 1240, 000,000,0000,0000,000,,000000000000000000000000000000$.

ok.offto change & poof.

I looked at a star on a starry night.
And began to weep.
And the star said,
Girl why are you weeping?
And i said,
You are so far away
I will never be able to touch you.
And the star answered,
Girl if i were not already in your heart.
You would not be able to see me.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!`[:
ILOVEYOU.

Spent christmas eve at vivo. blowing bubbles, playing with water,watching movie.
Spent christmas at Aunts's house. treasure haunt, cherade?? , & water balloon! etc.
Spent boxing day at home, glooming. okay lars, not every second. just at night?/:

Fuck. Whats your prob lars? Now all of a sudden, out of the blue,
suddenly,you are blaming me for not being able to cook??~. Like you can like that? Please lars, i cannot cook,.so what? & who are you to blame your wife on her birthday saying that she cant cook thats why she is a unsuccesful mother!`, bullshit. cannot just for once dont make things sad is it? try everyday to make things work. to sound happy. but wtf? you just keep pushiing & pushing & pushing.!

My christmas wish didint came true.
Santa claus, you wish-breaker./:
& look,they got their barbies & teddy.

When i grow up,
i want a big big big big teddy.

you said they said we were embarrasing.
but why do i feel like you felt the same way too.?
yup,i know.
you aint proud.
studies aye?
We'll show you.//

From today onwards,

i dont want to think so much or what.

i dont want to be sad.

i dont want to tou tong!~.

Atcually, i really dont know what to do,

how to start.

& where to find the strength for 2008!@

feel so guilty after spending so much on hair!~

100$ + gone like that.//

Grr.!~.

cannot do this anymore!.

NOMOREEELAKRISTALTAN.

--christmas is coming.

hohoho.

why is it that as i grow older, christmas seems..
less magical,fun & special?

Now its all said & done.








Dear Lord, i havent been a good kid lately.

aint a good daughter.

aint a good friend.


i also dont know why!`
But todday, i reaally enjoyed myself[:

went back to Geylang Meth. for service?

i dont know whats that called!

but i really enjoyed alot.

hoo.

found back last time the kristal[:

I dont know.

I just know i want to be happy!

so i keep a smile,

though sometimes i dont know why i smile also!~





Then cut hair spend $80/:

wth lars.

darn.





i became...

a good spender instead.

a mesed up girl.





hoho.

i dont know lars!

Christmas coming.

Mom's b'day coming.

Mom's sick, cant even talk.

I just know how to spendspendpspend & invite trouble.

i also dont know why leg!`





aiyo, whats wrong leh kristal?

i dont know!~


nevermind, i still have..

lord!





i must be brave!.

i finally found the reason for living--
& thats for you.

G.o.D[:

i think i really really dont understand at times.

but al` i know is,i really just.. in the end.

want a happy ending.

连自己的影子都想逃避. //

itreallysuckshowthereismoretoyouthanwhatisee,.
whatyoushow..
fuckyouforthat.`
Grr.
theres a limit to whatever thing.
dont be happy i keep quiet & continue doing it.
you should know.

&fallingheadoverheels.
thoughiknowhowitfeels.

youreaalysuck.
go home & be a cat.
you no. 2.


i'm still gay ya.[:
no more heartwrenching by you,.
no more.
i aint gna allow it to happen.!~

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun'>http://www.lets101.com/blog/quizzes">Fun Quiz

hohoho.though i dont believe in horoscope.
but hey, some are quite true.
haah. like fengshui aye?


--peace out II
[:

today is a happy day.[:
just that parents are really picking on me.;):!~
Grr.

yupp,guess al` is in the state of mind.

lord,when will i ever understand?

to be happy, isnt reaally that difficult to feel now ya?

guess its al` about letting go.

settle with the past, engage with the present & believe in the future.



it all starts with a smile ya?[:
hees. i have been stingy with smiles this holiday.
maann, no more.[;
the old kristal is back.
yipeeedude.(!?)

hohoho,.

yupp,nnow about the trip.
went to shanghai,beijing then shanghai then hangzhou then shanghai again.
gaa,[:
been on the train & privare bus & plane.
& while on the way to hangzhou in the bus.
the shifu freakin` knocked down a puupy in the highway.
roars,(!)
then me & xin screamed like shit.
wth lars.
the dog looked freakin` lost.
shifu tried to brake.
but hell no, we were going too fast.
the lil` puppy i guess got hurt.
or maybe even died?
roars(!).
fuck.
i was reaaaally darn worried for that dog._.
prayed 4 times?);
when i turned back, i could see its fur flying everywhere.
Grr.

hangzhou's really a nice place[:
maybe i should go there to unwind when i'm older.
the temperature,secenery,everyth. was superb[:
really was.
like paradise aye.
we took a boat & paddled on mountain water filled with oysters which contained reaal pearls[:
hohoho.
it was nice.[:

there was snow in beijing[:
& first time after so long, i manged to touch snow lars!~
reaallly always wanted to touch snow onee.
then singapore only got snow city-.-
but the snow was hard alrdy leh.
bummer.
but, it was al` cool ya.[:
& i cried the whole 3 nights in beijing cans.
so. i atcually.
reaaaaly think me & beijing just aint mix well.
hees.
then got one time is during the noon then cry./:
cause' about 3 or 4 people pull me back, dont let me go.
then keep asking me buy their shoes./;
roars.
then only left me behind.
felt darn fking lost.
then cannot control, tears come out.(!).

went to forbidden city, greatwall of china & it was freakin` cold.
think lowest is -5degrees eh.
many unhappy stuffs in beijing leh.
like quarreled with dad & so --on.

but nevertheless, though al` these seems like small lil' unpleasant things.
when this tiny things are added up toghter, it reaaly made a great day[:
its these small lil things that make a day spectacular.[:

& now i;m missing china like shit.
those small lil` kids who would hug for money.
those people who would follow us all the way just to be able to sell their things.
reaaly an adventure in china.
unlike singapore, where things are oh-so-peaceful & expected ya?
Super Safe Singapore.

i will remember that 17yearold' xiao hai zi![: sweeet-sweet.x3
hees. & what i did.
what i did seemed like what a drunk me will do..?


i'll remember:
those good massagers[:
those big black bears.
those cute lil` dogs.
the dog we knocked down):
the laughing so hard my abs hurt in the train.
the drinking as penalty.
and supposed to be like 6 people share one bottle.
but i end up drinking half of the bottle./;
lag. laaa me.
heh.
the game reaaaaaly geng wo bu he laars.[:
those 3hrs of higly low ktv.
evrybody i saw there.[:
evrything i did.
forever in my mind.[:
x.ia.o. haaai zix3!
roars.


i really hate how sadness loves my company./:
whres happineesssss?
is hapiness a face that doesnt look good on me?
it sucks how things are.
how no matter how hard i try,
sadness is tattooed to my heart,
from today on, being emo is a crime kristal.
dont commit crime.
i'm just a kid.
stuck in a tennage body.
ya.im just a kid, & life's a nightmare.
the soul within`,.
its not ready to grow up yet.
so, please.
dont make me grow up, feel the cold.
give me endless summer.
i'm not ready, not prepared.
& not willing to.
paps,& mama.
i reaally dont know what to say ya?
really dont.
tmrw is a new day.
things will be diff.
& dear lord,
i pray to be gay.[:

--thoughts in china.?


well,right now. i'm a happy girl[;

ps: links will only be done when i got my new blogskin[:

& xin,just wna saaay![:

you sweeet ass.

thanks for everyth yup?

i'm feeeling muchmuch better now.

ten times better then in beijing.

thanks for pulling me away from those shop owners.

thanks for holding my hand when crossing the road.

thanks for laughing & singinging & being there for mee!`

thanks for understanding how i feel.[:

thanks for putting up with my fucked` up mood swings[:

thanks for running down to the massage centre at 3am with me even though, you, the pig,needed sleep.

thanks for smacking me & aiyo-ing me everytime i get sad.[:

thanks for everything.[:

xoxo.--

surprised aye? didnt know i so sentimental one-.-

roars.

why did i become like that.

well, you better be hounoured xin.

this will be my last time doing this.

hohohoho.!

我到地哭什麼 哭什麼;

i'mstrongyeah.

stronger than your popeye ya, xin?

xoxo--.

& i'm bothered.











byyou.

toughlife.toughlife.toughlifee.

& stormy days are over!~
the days of ache,pain.depression.& evryth bad you could think of.
at least..
they lessen quite alot![:

i thought i was never,evr gna get out of it.
its like..
an endless road.
withought light.
its likee...
a black big blanket got me covered.
and no mtr how hard i try to find the end of the banklet, i coundnt.
its like..
i was lost in a big maze at night.


& now i see the light that shines.
that shimmer.
& i'm happy.
cause' at least, it isnt so dark anymore.
semi-darkness is fine.
cause' total darkness is terrifying.
it really is.
& i'm just happy i got that sunshine to shine.
for me[:

its still dark though,
but i believe,
one fine day,
evryth will soon be okay[;

though i know how tough its gna be now.
though i'm quite beat & tired & sticky & whaaaat.ever.
i'm still oh-so-fine[:

hees.
things are better now.
& as i'm blogging,
i'm missing my fking waywaylove draaama~!
roars!
first episode nehs.

okaaaay, i'm gna bath now.
i got a stinky record of not bathing for 4 days leh.
hehs.--
lazy.lazy.lazy.
no, maybe 3?
ANYWAAAAAAAAAAY.

i'mlovin`it.~
i rly hope deaar lord,that nth will change.
fereworst/:


{:

wake up.

WAKE UP KRISTAL.wake up.wont you?

tough life.click!

and in bus 21, which i ran after,

i thought.and thought.and thought.

No window seat this time.

No taking out of my mp to change songs.

i just let it playon&playon.

& when it played such a high song.

i felt oh-s.o-low.

welcome to the real. world.

i aint giving up.

i wont break down.

sonner then it seems life turns ard.

& i will be strong even if it all goes wrong.

and when i'm standing in the dark, i'll still believe.

someones watching over me.

toughlife./;

the memories and the pain of the heart i know.

wish that i could cry.

fall on my kness.

even heros have the right to bleed.

fu lao shi; the rock[:
--whom i can stand upon
hees.
thks fer` your preaching;
rly helped.
& sorry that i cant help but just cry&cry.):
but, you dont seem surprised.><
even when you tried to tell me joke,to cheer me up-.-
stupidme.
& girl.fs for being thre;[:

valerie,valencia & amanda came today[:
mann.i laughed so hard;
playedcards.hangedoutattheplayground;(!!!.)
& i'm back.
time seems super fast with'em.
iloveeeplaygrounds.
digthis.

wildwildwild.
i miss'em.
zigen,terrence,audi,demi,derrick,kailin/qin,gayatthri,ricky,those dogs.
those times.[:

--rewindbacktothepast.
pretty please?
):

dad's not in singapore anymre.
& i rlyrlryrlyrly wnt to get my hair dyed soon.
maaaybe, after i come back from overseas?
i rly dont know/:
all i know is, i'm darn envoius of pig xin.-.-
boohoo.
brownred? red? chestnut brown?
i dnt knw what suits me.`!
opinions?
hees.

& i realised i got soo many things i wnt to do this holiday.
anther boohoo.`~
well, i rlydont knw what i wan.t
reallyreally d ont.
& this sucks. big time.

job people didnt contact me till` now.
nojob=nomoneeeey=nothing.$

there gta be mre tolife.
thislifeissooverated.
everyth seems shallow.
god give me thruth.
& in me.
thats all i'm praying that someday.i will understand.
the walls just disappear.
nth to surround me,
keep me from my fears.
i'm unprotected.
never felt like this before..
this life is like a game sometimes.

--xoxo.

我怕迷路

i love slammed doors.
i love slamming doors.
do with that.
those wooden doors at home are gna fall anytime.
bang.

you dont think i'm trying??
you think i dnt wnt to do well too?
please.
i want to alright!
you dont know it woman.
you just freakin` blame evryth to me.
all the freakin` time.
damn.
what do you think hurs.
that i didnt try hard enough?
maybe i didnt.
but i am.
stop whatever freakin` blaming you are doing right now all right.
i want to be fifial.
i dnt ever want you to lose my respect .!
okaay.
so please, before i ever did.
try to at leaast think.
nobody's perfect woman.
dnt push al` the blames to me.
& you wont even let yourself feel apolegetic.
i've been trying okay!
trying to get your attention.
turning down dates with girl. f to spend time with you.
casue' you & idont have much time tghter.
& i get all these shit?
i knw its been hard on you.
but what abt me?
ask yourself.
when will you evr spare a thought for me.
me!
forgetit`.
i'm not gna give up okay?
i'm gna freakin` prove you wrong.
& gna get btr grades than those you compared me to.
yearh, you can stop competing.
they get rank 14?
i get rank13.
how abt that?
hurs.
even when i improved, you never ever at least, make me feel its worth it.
yearh, you dnt scold me for my bad grades.
thks alot.
but,, then.
wont it mount to the same thing?

man,
wait till` i find a good tuition teacher-.-

so please, i'm trying.
& i hope you freakin` feel it;

i'moverit.`

to make the great escape

& lets make the great escape[;

to..escape;
bleahs.
low people makes lower people.

photos will be uploaded sooon!

sorrry fer` short post.

will update this when i aint so lazy.

A cinderalla story

First time updating blog withouht being told to[:
got improve lurhurs?
notbadnotbad;
hees.

i hate maths.
MAths
MAke
Me'
MAd.):
roars.~`

&valenciaaavalerieee, you still owe me maths tuition[:
keehees;
mann, i get so despo./:
oh welleys.

And Grace koh got me hooked up on the A--list noveles[;
surprisesurprise.
catch me reaading;`[;
atcually, i owe you a t.h.a.n.ks girl.x)

ps: be carefull laa; dont lose your wallet again-.-

aww. bb rocks[;
loveeee.
hehs.
funfun.

manymany things linedd upp.
just realised that my blog has only wordsandwordsandwordsandwords.(!)
no pictures.
no nothing.
just words.
& mann, i must have bored youu people to death;/:

okokaaay. next post maybe[;

going escape tmrw.
& out at night on monday[;
cannntt wait`.
rlyrlyrlrylrlyrly cant loh.

i loveeeee e nightlife`x)
butt.. ( _________________________ )
yearh.
hehs.
& you dont have to count how many dashes there are or anyth.
cause;' i just errr. hurr. randomly stop laa hor.
hehs.`
catching the night movie, i guess?
booyeeah[;

xoxo.


a cinderalla story.

Now you know.---
cause' waiting fer` you is like waiting fer` rain in this drought.
useless&disappointing.
late for reality.
fantasy--
half the night,
i waste in sighs.

start from where lehs;
i dnt really knw.

dramaas are lovee[;
mann, i cried like shit.
todays' e last episode to the drama i've been watching.
so darn contradicting,.
again--
its like...
wna knw the ending,
but, dnt wnt it to end.
cause' i'm gna miss it like shit.

--haaah; like a child misses her blanket[:

valerie & valencia & amanda camee[;
atmosphere somehow's diff.):
idontknoww.
but all i knw is, i really wnt the old days back.//

--& like a child misses her blanket[:

currently playing on my playlisty : would you be there.

):mann,
idontknww..
so many million things running through this peabrain of minee.
eeks.
its gna explode soonner or later.
miss those days when everything was much much simper[;

--& like a child misses her blacnket{:

eeks.
& the song playing now: --( i dont knw what hell of a tiltle this is )

// goes; i'm happy & i knw it makes you sad.
if sthsth was a dream, i be in love with dreaming.//
okaay, whats with this.

just chuck that part up there away.
hees.

valerie & valencia are having tennis now[;
rememebred how we used to..
do evry single thing tghter[:
went to watch the GAMEPLAN yesterday.
notbadd[:
atcually, it was really good[:
4.5 starss!
hees.
laughed so much.
& there was a woman in the cinema whose laugh was so darn fking funny[:
haaah. it was so.ooo. oo high pitch;
then i cannot tahan alrdy.
then kept laughing too.
hehs.
people with contagious laugh~
steelaaaaaa![:
hees.

went to wanzhuo's aunt hse fer haircur;
hees. thks wanzhuo[:
ate pizzahut, went arcade, walked ard, & drooped those phone on display.
heehs, the sales asst. had that face that makes me just wna laugh.
okaaay. wanzhuo, dnt saadd!
its just --bad hair day period!
& know what?
there are people with much much sucky hair,!'
youknwyouknwyouknw.
soo,aiyoyo, dnt knw what to say/:
i'm a darn bad comforter.
just..dnt brood over this too much alrightt!
everyth's gna be back to norm. sooner or later.[:
~~xoxo.


now playing on playist: there with you.

-- i love you with your disguise,
you've proven that love is blind.
there are no ans. i find.
to stop the tears from my eyes.
now evryth looks black & white,
you've taken away clear blue skies.
though, its time to go.
-----------------------------------
i cant restrain you from your lies.
the fear of ever losing you has finally come through,


R.A.I.N.B.O.W.s are beautiful.[:

wanzhuo,thanks[;
-fer everyth.`
hees,your post maake me wna cry.

ilovemygfriends.
ilovethemso.
wanzhuo.stella.crystal.grace.jiepin.huimin.juvena.valerie,valencia.amanda.
all of 1h, & pratically evrybodyyy[;

for all the quarrels, things, happenings & everyth that happened this year.= darn them):
casue' come to think of it, i guess, all these could have been avoided,stopped, & be gone, not thre.

to be a better man~

& i went to some wedding dinner.
oblivious to who's the lovebirds who are marrying.
yearh, & like pig xin xinn, we went there fer the food.[:
haah.
embrace it, fear it.

bon apetit~!

really really sweet though[:
makes me feel like hooking up with some guy someday.
haah.
nah.
short, silly impluse.`

i dnt need a man~
i dnt need a ring on my finger~`
nahdedelaah.
mann, did i just typed that?
gaga./

the loving & hating of money,
the attraction of the life of the very rich.
and the repulsion at its hyprcrisy.
people can call it passion.
or lush.
or obsession.
i dnt reaally care.

--A-list.

now playing on my playlist : rain.--whatever its called.

the wedding was nice.
really sweet.!

the bizzare the day before was great too[;
at least, it was fun.
& the last day of school,
quite alright.~`[:

i believe next year, things will be muchmuchmuchmuchmuchbetter.
since we know each other so muchmuchmuchmuchmuchmuchbetter.
alrdy.

drankwine.brandy.
hurhurs.
guess maybe, daady has passed his genes to me?
alcohol.
drink.drank.drunk
really worried.
casue' i guess one day,
fathers gna get into deep trouble with his drinking.
you can tell,when you look at him.
that beer belly.~
oh wells.

maybe i'll get so deperate,
i'll go back to using short forms like 'wre r u' or whatever crap.
this Moto. La is being such abitch.
man, she sucks.Big Time.
you have limited memory,youknwyouknwyouknwwwwwwwww.

insane~

theeend.

mirrormirrorhangingonthewall.
youdnthavetotellmewho'sthebiggestfoolofall.

我真的真的真的需要勇气哦！
---

& dearr xin xin, jacq,cheeer upp[:
i'm heere.`

ayye people.
i'm back[:

eoys is over.
e year is coming to an end.
everyth that happened, will be e past alrdy.
so blardy fast,
i meann..
just like that?
boohooh.

mann.
whats with me.
i dnt knww.
no idea.
and sometimes,
life's so contradicting.

i can feel so high, like i'm flying.
yet my butt is sticked on the chair.
i can feel so happy,
yet atcually i am just an emo piece of shit.
i can feel so good,
yet so darn sucky at times.
mann, to feel all these diff. & totally opp. feelings at once.
just so..
weird.
freaky.
funny.
ironic.
whateeeveerrr;/

things are better now[:
at least,

--pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer.

i dnt knw what i have been doing.
all these timee.
all these time i lived.
feels so fking wasted.
mann, and i can get so sentimental at times[:

oh weeelleys'
-aaaalwaaays livee on the bright side of lifeee[:

__________________________________


kkaaaay. heres' your part of the post juvenaa.
sekali you nvr read-.-
thn ask me write,
as good as never.,
oh weeeleeys[;
as promised.

onee finee day girrl.
we're gna see the stars
& do evryth we said to do.
& be what we said we wna be.
--tai taais?[:
haaah.
sweet fat dream;
so, no mtr whaaat.
dnt give up & smileee always[:

--justlikebefore.

____________________________________________

peaceout-.
xoxo,
kristal;

the walls just disappear.
nth to surround me,
keep me from my fears.
i'm unprotected.
never felt like this before..
--no promises.

--Confessions of aheart.
`beautiful love.


nahneh,fell into a trap.
& who else got e power to make me write a 500long post abt her?

thhee --chinnaa doll; the soulmatee; [cause' she claim 没有创意]thee laogong; thee only one who offers to want me-.-

WANZHUO[yea,bet this is big enough fer e blind to see][:


heees.
we've knwn each other for 10 months alrdy.
& shit! shijudeen interuptted. thn i forgot sth i wnted to say.
eeyer.


these 10 mths were like a super thrilling & hot rollercoaster ride.
up & down.
up & down.
but this girl,who even cries preety(man!) is always thre to buckle me up.[:
foreeevverr.



haiiiiiiii.
ididntgettodoabsailing!
ididntgettodoabsailing!
ididntggettodoabsaillinglaaaa!~
& she just rocks at this-.-
what can i say mann?
& she's just cute at sacratic-ness.



all theeese months were amazingg.
& no mtr what./
i realise i have a dumbest g.fs someone could ever have. -.-
keesh.



waitwait.
i need inspiratttion!
& she says inspiration's watching tv.
right.-.-



yeees. i finally got inspiration after 15 mins of staring at the com!
source of inspiration=summary writing,do's &donts.
& i atcually thought tht summarys were usless.-.-



dos-
tell her you cannot cannnot cannottt see her brwn eyess!
give her girly stuffs,any typical girl will likee.
givee her flowers. i bet you 50cents she cry on the spot.
hees. & i wnted to change the 50CENTS to DOLAARS.
butt..
i think its btr i dnt take the risk lurhurs.x)
& THAT heart shape strawberry cake.(!)
& THAT big exercise ball.[:

& her favourite catchphrases---
lllalalaa.
boo.
yo.
& i cant think of anymore right now.
cause' my brain isnt really in the thinking mood.`
& i believe all this should come out naturally.
so,i'm gna type whatever tht comes to my mind.

MANNNN,is it 500words long aldrrrdydydydy?
hehs. nono.

& this girl here as change her style.
no more cutesy-lil 咪咪眼, korean-hot guys anymoree.
it becamee all the cool,tall, ABCs.
haah.

& those despos who rly wnt her yours,
go get yourself rebornded to an aabbbbccc. ddd--
& those lucky fellas` reading this.
you got yourself so lucky.
causee.
you're in lucck?
& you happen to got me to make you lucky?
& tht you're just plain lucky?
that that you got everyth you need to knw abt her here.
lucky you.
ok,i bet she knws i always trying to waste space-.-
hees.
okok,back to business.

ohyyaa,maybe you can get her a fruit basket instead.
lololol.
jkjk.
i just wnted to say,,
she's so IN to fruits.
dig this.
--her complexion rocks like a rocker.
okkkay. bad similie.
or is it methaphor?
err. nvm;
freeeaky.
i'm like talking to myself.
okok, get back.`

[:
donts-
putt dogs near her. & i think,even cute ones.
give her chocos.
x)
give her mint.
&&

lol.

ok lars, is it a 500 words yet//
oh. 481 words
yeeayeea.

haah.

W= worth watching[: eheh,sounds wrong. oh weells.
A= amiable
N= naturally nicee[:
Z= WHY SO HARD TO THINK OF ONEE ONE.-.-
H= haah. this is easy. Hot.(
U= unban woman? lol.
O=oveeeeerr!
& i meant the posttt. heees;

doneee[:
& i hopee its allriight[;

yeayea,hre i am forced to blog.
becausee.
offff..
who else.
but the one & only
wanzhuo>.<

sianned. she said at least 200 words.
i ask her for discount.
she said, 199 words.

what can i say mann.

& my parents quarelled many times these few days.
i dnt like phillipine womannnn!):
nehneh. i aint' racist people.

but like what i told wanzhuo,
i shouldnt cre anymore.

okok.went out with wanzhuo,vena & gang'' ytd.
& we've got relations[:
thts cool;

found out many things.
you'vve been hiding so much hurs.
all the things you hide from me.
all the shit that you do.
well.I finally understand how the game was played.
how you played it.
& manupilate us.

okokk.enuough.
mre thn enough alright?
stop evryth.
cause' i wna forget.
& i dnt cre abt what you did anymore.
throw'em away.
trash'em.
i dnt cre.
its enough.
thts what i always think.
but. its hard.
hard.
i can forgive.
but i cant forget.
minor ones,i can.
but nott this yea?
not this.

&& i hope evrtyh's gna go back like before.
just like before.

i admire you fer tht courage dude[:

just a dream.
just aint real.
late fer reality.

--&waitingforyouislikewaitiingforraininthisdrought.
useless&disappointing.

blaa.

&i dnt knw how to be fine when i'm not.
-just so you know.

i guess out biggest enemy is oureslf.
settle down.
i'm gna go for it.
--studies
我要好好读书!
shhh.
-out.

&itsjusttoohardtowatchitallslowlyfadeaway..

if only.):
if only.
once upon a time.
fate.
always striking at the wrong time.
--regrets.
all i have.

whats with.
no regrets now,they only hurt?
bullshit; girl.

&whatelsecouldido?
forgetit.
i wonder if you're feeling e samee.


&look what you`ve done now.

Cause my heart was broken so many times till the extend tht i dont feel the pain no mre):

numbed`

llllaallas.
i'm updating fer the lady who cant sleep at 2'am[:
& updating fer me,who woke up at 3pm[;

mann,i fell on my ass.
i think i got a blueblack on my nose);
hahaa.
& my back hurs like shit.

& i atcually woke up at three today lars.
iidiot.
half a day gone like that;-.-

i btr buck up.
its not btr.
its got to/.
have to.
must.

lllaaalalas.
time to mug;[:

& i hope you're okayy girl;):

FUCK.
you did an unforgivable thing.
& i trusted you so much.
Dont do this to me, will you?
You know i aint that strong.
i bet you`re happy now that you`ve won..
i've seen through you girl.
so clearly.
& thre you go.
you just mercilessly cut my heart.
i knw you knw alright!
stop pretending.
& stop evryth you are doing.
cause' its enough.
really. its enough.

& guys are just jerks.
you think you very big is it?
acting cool.
being old.
its so hard for her to see you kay!
you dnt have to act,
it wont work.
cause' i wont buy that.

many things

manymanythingshappened.
& i dnt knw whre to start./:

& right now,all i can say is,
i gta get used to all these.
mann.i feel like kicking some ass.
hahs. kickboxing's fine[:

&now,i shall be running away
frm reality.the real world.
cruel that is.
feign that ignorance.
maybe,sometimes ignorance IS bliss.
Its just.just,too tiresome to feel evryth
at the same time.

right now,i'm boiling xxxxxxx
arrrgh.
& ah ber called my mommy.
i dnt knw what she said.
buttt. i knw,its sure aint anyth good.
cause' things that comes out of her mouth
was never ever ever good.

But,she atcually mistookingly called me first.
she thought i was mommy. what can i say mann.
id!oit.

me: hello.
@#!: hello,i'm miss lim ah ber calling frm teekay.
me: SHIT.
@#!: i'm calling to inform youu abt your daughter's CAII results.
me: DAMN. (silentlyy laaa.
@#!: I wonder if she told youu abt her results alrdy.
me: *puts down phone.
me: wanzzzhuooooo! ah ber lehss!
wanzhuo: HUHS. *eyes open big big ''ask her who she is again!'
me: who are you?
@#!: *irritated voice. '' i'm chen yu ying's form teacher from teekay!''
me: *put down phone,look at wanzhuo. ''HUH.ITS REALLY AH BERR LEHS!
wannzhuo: errr. say youu dnt knw her laa
me: *picks up phone. '' errr, idntknwyoula! (superduperfast.
@#!: youu dnt knw me?! err. uh.uh. THEN I ALSO DNT KNW YOU LA!
-DEAD SILENCE.

hahahahaha.she bian tai mann.
& yes,i failed 4 subjects.

WHAT THE HELL.
SHE HUNG UP ON ME.
WHATS WITH HER MANN.
LOVE HER FACE TILL' LIKE THAT./:

& YOUU KNW WHAT.
SCOLD ME FER ALL I CARE.
BUT DNT INSULT ME.
bloody mushroom.

__________________________________________


----- & is being emo suddenly a crimeee!
tissues aint gna work.
rmb,i'm thirteen.
just thirteen.

till' the extend i dnt feel e pain anymore.

Dont you see sadness in my eyes,
bcause everything you told me were just lies.



SO MUCH FER MY HAPPY ENDINGGGG.

& big girls [s]dnt[/s] cryy

lalaaa.
one fine day.