我最近不好！
i don't feel like dying.
but i am not keen on living either !
I want to change th way life is being lived!
I want to change how poeple treat people!
i dont want to do something and ask why
and people say ' this is how life goes. live with it'
i dont want to live with it! .
I dont like all this now! .



burntbooks.
Is anybody out there? Hello?

What hurts the most;

Was being so close.

And having so much to say,

I'm going to.. chu ren tou di ! .

AAAAAAAAHHHH,\. heh.

Said your two cents now its my turn.

So sit down, shuddup. Are you ready?

Zz. Great. Just stop xopying

You know i don't like it./

And i tried. its up to you,

Don't pretend nothing happened.

Cause' alot of things did.

The two of them were sincere.

And i got their back.

You? At least tell me what you think.

You are the more important one.

I dont want to change you to the past tense.

Prove that freaking horoscope wrong for me.

I finally know who's true & who's not. :D

To those who are so pretentious. Sorry, i dont need you.

只希望你能明白，我不要回头了。没有那么多时间，明白吗？

我无所谓！

Hahas. i see.. well to me, hmm. Kristal is.. someone whom i dnt know very well, yet, whn we chat, it feels like we've been friends since forever. Kristal is someone, despite not knowing each other so well, i know i can trust her with anything. Kristal is someone, whose smile, could bring joy into me, and turn frowns into smiles as well. hmm in my heart, Krisal equal pure joy lol. so CHEER UP

THANKS AH WONG.
though its long ago. but it makes me smile ! (:

Promise me?

Trying to fit in.

我很努力了。我已经很尽力。尽力到很痛苦的地步!

But why can't you see? And at least show me that everything i did was worthwhile.,
Why did my studies become the problem of our friendship! WHY.
I've been putting myself into you three positions, and think. How about you three put yourselves into mine?
I know you all care.When three of you used to take turns to call me
To tell me about homework, to remind me. To teach me, I know i am blessed.
But you know what. Enough.
WHY IS IT THAT OUR MORNING CONVERSATION ALWAYS GOES :
Did you do your homework?.
No.
KRISSTAAAAAL!'

Like wth!. I AM TRYING! I AM TIRED! LAY OFF.
IHATE TO DISAPPOINT ANYBODY. I HATE TO HEAR THAT VOICE OF YOURS JIEPIN.
THAT VOICE THAT TELLS ME YOU ARE SICK OF ME BEING LIKE THIS.
BUT WTH. I AM SICK OF YOU TOO. STOP YOUR SUCK UPS AND STOP SAYING WORDS OF CONCERN I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN. AT TIMES. PLZ

jiepin, i miss those times we talk to each other so naturally.
I miss so many things i do with you, i just realized.
I miss you crapping to me. I miss you wating for bus 155 with me. I miss you caring so much, worrying about my stagefright, and covering and helping me. I miss you singing songs into my ears.I miss evrything..

And huimin, I cried like shitz today when you tell me you are going to give up on me soon not becuase' i am afraid. i am not. I just.. my heart was aching. Just like this? Can't you see my efforts?Why is it that after i try so hard, I get back all this? ! I really woke up at four to study because' i was too tired to study at night!' I really restricted myself from. everything. I strayed from evrything, I play soduko during recess! Don't talk to me so feircely, I will gaurd my heart.
I dont want to gaurd my heart against you. I know among all, You are the one who quietly give and help me. Putting up with everything. And.. So many times i just want to hug you and say thanks.

I TRY SO HARD TO PLEASE YOU ALL. IT SUCKS.
I WANT US TO NEVER CHANGE. BUT NOW ALL YOU THREE EVER DO,
IS TO KEEP TELLING ME YOU ALL ARE DISAPPOINTED IN ME.
YOU ALL WANT TO GIVE UP ON ME. !
I JUST WANT US BACK AGAIN.


还有什么天涯海角！
什么永不变!
Stella you didnt even say anything today.
I thought.. You would be the first to find me.
I thought.. You would come to me, and.. be the sweet ass you always are.
And be there.

Ilovethethreeofyousomuch.
We been through thick and thin.
But now, I don't feel like i am your friend anymore.
I seriously don't want to lose any of you.
You all mean too much. Those advices you are given to me, really make me reflect,
I know i need to change. I know i need to grow up. I know i need to know my piorities.
Like what you all say, if i ever want to be happy, i got to make sacrifices.
I know..

born to stand out.

The same old line : i'm sorry i can't be perfect.


I treasure those who treaures me.
I am good to you, if you are good to me.

I have many things to say.

But.. Roar.

Nvrmind alrdy. Forget those things.

--I feel left behind.

i had a bad fall at the start.

i had a bad start.

i picked myself up.

i ran . i tried to catch up.

and now i'm so tired of always tring to reach out,trying to catch up.

to run the same pace as all of you.

but it seems like, no mtr how hard i try.

you all will keep moving forward, 3 foots infront of me.

and i will always just be trying. and trying. and trying.

don't condemn me so fast oky.

I say something. But i cannot finish it. Thanks Alot.

Reason of existence: Nil.

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着。

--你的声音这么近我却抱不到/

Bye,i'm going to use aeroplane to catch up.

Great. four smokers in house yet again.

ANDYOU. I thought.. and then... why. what happened. Something is suddenly bu dui.Plz. i don't want.

--Now i am in second place. waiting for a second chance./

Tmd. I just had to take my form for granted. I think i deproved alot.

And i think even. i ran better in primary school. Zz. I want sth,. But i don't work hard for it. I did not train,. Did last min stretches and the next min, i am on the starting line alrdy. With no strength. Zz. And Betty, Tiara wipe away our tearsz . ! Yesh. Mayb we just didn't work hard enough, Yeah, High hopes on us. But, its okyz. ! Over already. At least we came in second. I think majority of tk people enjoyed themselves aye.Thanks pengda for the drink, Ass, You didnt run with me/: And all th funny people on th bus. ! (:Valerie Tan was so sweet she made me cry. Shannon, I hope your leg is oky (:

Was Late again today. But luckily raaining.

Rly dont' know what i doing.

Woke up at zun zun 6 still can late.

And ahber asked why.

Then she replied : Xia Da Yu ah? Xia Da Xue Ye Yao Lai.

Then i laughed out loud. heh.

I think she think very funny also. She go repeat 4times to 4 of us.

Whatevr it is, today is just a disappointing day.

The end.

Gril : Don't be a hypocrite and suck-up.

Fallen from grace,

Al over th place.

IDONTKNOWWHYMYPOSTSARENOTHAPPY.

MAYBE BECAUSE IBLOGTOTELLOUTWHATIWANTEDTOSAY.BUTDIDNOTSAY.

--Never let me go.

i am very tired leeehz.
I fight hard to keep awake in class;
When my head could just bang on th table anytime.




''Hahaha,
Sent from A-Z on my contact list.
hahaha,
heh,

You completed me.,

I am a v.v.v.v.v..v.v.v.v.v.v. happy girl today ! Super Duper.(grins)

I don't know what i did,. and what i've done.

To be blessed with you all and granted all these. ! .

i looked at you lot today. And wondered -- what i've done.

I smiled and laughed and grined all day.

Smiled like a fool&laughed like some lunatic.

Evrything and evrybody,was so.. sweet. nice. sweet.

It was paradise in heaven."The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it."

Yes,h. i enjoyed myself thoroughly. ! (:

And i'm happy i didnt stop to think, or whatever today.

Really am.

And thanks to : STELLA;LAOGONGPO, HUIMIN, XINXIN &JIEPIN. ;

okooky. Wait. Marcus also. Aha. Later you talk about how 'i break your heart again-.-'.

You girls are th key people that made my day.

Thanks for th small litlest things to bigbig things you'l did.

haha. Smb hor, somemore want to bring she bake the cake

come my school make announcement leh.

hahaha, Don't know who ah. ! (:

Sweeeeeeet. --.

Heeh. Xie Xie for th manymanymany presents and countless wishes.

Aiii. heh. Lazy to reply to evrybdy,cause' reaaly got alot !

But. IF YOU WISHED ME, thank youz!

--from the bottom of my heart ! Xoxo.

Heeh. Lazy to type so much now :

XIE XIE NI MEN.!

And esp. for the cards and presents.

Thanks for understanding. Thanks for the thought. Thanks.

Really Reallly Really apreciated oky ! :D

--With love.

好好，我开心。

//Falling head over heels,thought i knew how it feels.
speechleess.


B.t-
Thanks. sosoossoososomuch.
Ni zhen de hen xi xin ! hen ti tie ! hen heeh.
Loves! (:
--Going Gaga.- Over you.
Idontwanttotrylivingadayw/oyou,
i..you. you.. are . check your msn ! (:
Lol. And yes. I can read your cursive handwritting laa.
Not bad. No bad. Can understand and smiled like shitz while reading.
You gotta know. Everything you do, is love.
Girlf.s--.

________________________________X.Kristal.(:
lil'.

A champion is someone who gets up,even when he can't.!

I AM GOING TO BE A CHAMP.
ZZ


take me away.
Far away,
away from this ugly place.


):

Was late on Monday, byyyyy a feew mins, (again) Zz.What to do. All red light.
Th malay teacher talked to me.She said alot. Then there came :' Why must you be so hard onyourself hur! I stunned. It woke me up and i was sick/tired/not feeling good/and th people walking past all giving the ' ke lian!' stares, cannot tahan then brokedown. And when she put her hands ard me, i wanted to say thanks to her a million times. I felt protected and cared for. I love that feeling.
I'm happy i managed to pass this week quite happily (:

----------------------------------------

Huimin i know you want me to focus and study. I know you care and don't want me to get into any troubles. But.. Sometimes you stare too hard and talk to stern. I get scared./:You're becoming more like a teacher then a friend. You are great and i don't want to let you down or what. Nor anything oky.

-----------------------------------------

Jiepin you've always been the only one who is patient enough to teach me for 3 hours and more. You never gave up explaining to me. You get angry when i didnt listen. But you took the trouble to explain everything again. You get fustrated when i still dont understand. You raised your voice resulting in th bad sorethroat. Dui bu Qi. Now you stuggle with you speeches in drama. Ya, same old advice : Drink more honey ! (: heeh. But really very unfair uh. You sorethroat got the sweet-like-medicine. I sorethroat i swallow down tablets and gulp down bitter medicine!. Stella is digging the hoarse voices. Yes i owe you 3.50 alrdy. For th many fucks.

---------------------------------------

Stella aiya. you, no need say much. Heeh. ! Ni zhi, wo zhi. hahaha.
'But it Dont Matter, cause i got you.
' You are here, there's nothing i fear.
' I got to see you boo. Will you will you will you.
' Shou qian shou. Yi qi zou. ! (:
Collected from today. heeh.
You know ILY! .
If i want to say, i can write out a whole essay but.
i know you know ! (:

-----------------------------------------

Watched th soccer match. Zz. Got glued on.
Hard to walk away ah.
Then Jiaqing guy and whoever go despo-ly write another 'blapoem.
Zz. His friend even go tou pai. Wth. Dont know me want to meet me.
Then say what obliged?

----------------------------------------

little notes:
Keith you know what. If late, i want to late again with you. ! :D.
MianYu thanks for the ride home. I don't know how helllong i have to wait in school for the rain to stop if not for you.
PohYee, you laugh at everything ah! haha.
Abi Aw. Thanks for the 'picture'.! Aha.
Nikki You Zhen de Zhen de Zhu.
Yan zhou Yes you finally stop calling me hooker alrdy. I dont even know how you started!.
Marcus is horny and always high! (: .
I realized siu yen is not siew yen today.
Daphne can be funny and talk alot if she wants to.
Huang Meng always has nice food to give(: And she's great.
I think i didnt talk to liang yi at all this whole week.
Adrain+shija+himmat = Funny shit.! (:

------------------------------------

I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel lonely.

I hate realizing that i'm alone.

-------------------------------------

XinXin. ! (:
这是我欠你的亲亲:D
SMUACKS ONE BIG WEET JUICY ONE! (:
Thanks for everything oky !
Druuug. !~

------------------------------------

JiaWei.
I don't see the significance of me. Like... Zz. I'm ordinary. Yout got many other people to talk to eh. Why spend so much time talking to me? Sometimes i don't reply, i feel theres no need to. Aiya, don't know lars. We are uneven pi gu now ! (:

----------------------------------

Oky. Now is study-fulltime.
Ah Ber became more... understanding~. And she changed my seat . Now i can concentrate ten times better. ! Realized how many marks and chances i've wasted last term. I hope i don't give up this time. I hope i 看到效果.

Whoa. So many people and so many names.


You can have all thats left of me.
I've been dying inside you see.